Feeling nervous about socialising after lockdown? You’re not alone.

With the third national lockdown announced in the UK last week, I find myself a fraction more hopeful that this may be the last push before the vaccine helps pull us out of this difficult period.

I allow myself to imagine meeting with friends at cafes, visiting loved ones and relying on more than one person to be my source of comfort, entertainment and news. How blissful and relieving that will feel! 

Or will it? I can’t help feeling a slight knot in the pit of my stomach at the thought.

Nowadays, one conversation with the checkout lady at the supermarket exhausts me, and the exertion of the trip itself is enough warrant an afternoon nap. How on earth am I going to last a whole evening of socialising the way I used to? What will we talk about? And how could I possible stay up past 10pm? I feel the panic – and dare I say, dread - rise.

I know I am not alone in this. Friends, family and clients have expressed a mix of excitement and apprehension for life returning to ‘normal’. We have become so accustomed to this ‘new normal’ that the idea of reverting to the way things were is somewhat hard to comprehend. 

This got me thinking: why might we be feeling some anxiety about socialising and interacting with others after lockdown?

The more I thought about it, the more it made complete sense. We mustn’t forget that humans are animals, and like all animals, we possess the instinct and drive to survive. As a result we are constantly on the lookout for danger, whether that be physical danger or - just as threatening - the danger of social rejection. We are so adept at interpreting small signals - body language, tone of voice, group energy dynamics - that we react to them subconsciously. We learn quickly how those around us operate and where danger lies. The result? We become confident in our ability to handle situations.

Then 2020 happens. With nearly a year of limited social contact, and venturing no further than our local supermarket, we are sorely out of practice.

Our senses have been turned down whilst alone in our homes, with no regular change, stimulation or interaction with others. Even online communication does not require the same skills that in-person communication does. Nothing has required us to think or react as quickly as we once had to, and so the idea of stepping back into work or social situations may be unappealing and possibly frightening for many of us. Will we be able to handle it?

In short, yes. Absolutely. With time, the ease of being out and about in the world will return, as will our stamina. Instinct will kick in and sharpen once more, allowing our confidence to grow. 

When you venture out again in hopefully the not too distant future, yes, you may feel nervous and vulnerable. Yes, big groups may feel overwhelming. And yes, you are likely to tire quicker. Your brain is suddenly being bombarded with vast amounts of stimuli, and the processing cogs are a little rusty. However, know that not only is this understandable and normal, but that your energy will increase and you will start to relax in time.

For once, the world has been united in an experience. However, we may not be united in the way we experience our return to normal as individuals.

Be kind and patient with those around you. Be cognisant of friends, family and colleagues who may seem reticent to launch back into things. And most of all, be kind and patient with yourself. Remember that for the most part, you are in the drivers seat. You get to choose to take your ‘return to normal’ as slow and as steady as you need. For those who find the prospect of socialising unbearably frightening, remember there is no obligation to throw yourself back into the world with as much force as you once had. Take small steps, allowing yourself to acclimatise before pushing yourself further. Lastly, as always, know there is help available should you need it.